I loved watching her smile whenever she faced the mirror. Whether she had chocolate stains or spinach leaves from nkontomire stew stuck between her teeth, she found happiness in that moment of seeing herself. I loved the way she flung her hair like she were in a magazine, swaying her locks like the blonde and brunette models…
I went about learning to love myself in reverse. I believed this love would find me in the eyes of others, that their love would be a source of sustenance. This very belief led to years of forging and wrestling into identities foisted on me. An uncomfortable fit but I remained clumsily dressed, desperately killing…
There is a force. You cannot see it, at first, but you can feel it. It surrounds you, clogs up the air, chokes up your insides and, before long, you realise you cannot breathe. You stand in it. You suffer in it. Break in it. Shake, cry and wriggle in it. Then, consequently, the futile…
On a cold winter’s night, I heard the crackling of the fire stove calling me back home. But home was now far behind so I continued to trudge through the snow. I remained wandering, the destination unknown. My toes were frozen over in their woolly boots and, snuggled in knitted mittens, my fingers were rock…